Dear perfect Mom

Millions of people say things like "there's no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one"

Good Things!
I'll stop my effort to be a perfect one, at least my way of perfection, which is too much.

I demand myself to be a perfect one, because my mom is. She's so perfect, she can exclusively breastfed her children while working, doing all the messy stuff at home, while also actively participate in my dad's office also. I think i can do that..

Until

My breastmilk is no longer give my baby enough supply, and i've tried all to make him drink the best; well at least for 6 months requirement. And while my breast stop giving me it's best liquid on the 7th month of producing, I feel FAILED.

After some time of endless self-apologizing, a bunch of supportive mama who also tried everything to keep up with that liquid, i finally forgive myself, and feed my LO with mixed milk. But for a paid-off, i make every intake home-made. But, who can resist gerber? My LO's pincer grasps is going advanced because of those tiny vanilla stars, Wied Harry, forgive me for my sin, a little intake of sugar won't hurt, right?

Is that my only sin? The intakes?

Of course not, i'm not that perfect. I leave my LO with nanny and one assistant at home from 7am till 7pm (if i lucky enough to finish everything on-time). Thousands, i meant it, thousand of people told me to resign (of course, my mom is not one of them), because i spend too much outside, but i just can't stand being powerless, depend myself too much of one person; it's not about money, it's about my sanity.

Thank God i have a supportive husband, but not a supportive surroundings. But then again, who cares? It's my life anyway, the fact is, when i met my baby, everything is sweeter, because quantities doesn't always in a good relationship with qualities. And one most important thing is : like me, he has to learn about separation, about possession, that one cannot live with the other for the rest of his life forever. I want to raise a person, not a forever-kid, who cannot live without the support of their parents.

I've found my supporting group : March+ Birth Club , which keep my sanity on its very best track. A group which not judge me. It's okay to have a pleasure for a while, talking nonsense, randomly think about random things, but when i'm at home, i'm at home. With plenty of supermom there still nursing their babies with breast milk, do the laundry, but doesn't have any pinch of sarcasm joke about us, working mom.

Working or not, Formula or breastfed, That's not define a perfection.

Life is more than that; Your baby will soon have to face an endless challenges in this cruel little world, support them. 

Look at your kid 20 years from now, then judge yourself. Now is not a perfect time to judge, or to be judged.


Kisses,
K